| you were there for summer dreaming baby... {burningburningsummer'05} |
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| so trust doesn't exist anymore... |
[Nov 30th, 2004] |
I should listen to my gut instincts more often. I thought I could trust you and you broke my heart. You're always going to be too far out of my reach for me to hold you or want anything more than your friendship- and even that is a stretch after what you've done to me. You had an answer for everything didn't you? I wonder how many girls you've wrapped around your little finger. And making me feel guilty, making me feel bad for ever doubting you. I'm so stupid, I should have known all along. I am guilty. Guilty for making such a stupid idiot out of myself, guilty for hoping you could ever just settle for me.
Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I don't want to settle for you. You and your lies, you and those other girls, you and the 50,000 fucking promises that come with your lips. Keep those lips, those lies, those promises. You know where you can shove them. You know where the door is. Get out of my life.
Oh honey, this will never last.
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| i miss you, miss you... |
[Nov 10th, 2004] |
Okay, I am going to post this, and if anyone judges me for it, then I'm sorry. I'm taking a risk putting my feelings up here, but this is my journal and I'm reverting back to the days when I wasn't writing for anyone but myself. Here goes... (it should be noted at this point that this is not going to be a bitchy post)
I miss Ricky! Heh... He's gone off to London (I am so jealous), and there was no one online today to keep me company in the morning and I just thought: Crap. I actually miss you! So random and completely pathetic as it is. Hehehe, he put a really dorky voicemail thing on his phone for while he's away. It's kind of adorab... Oh my God, I sound like a mother/obsessive person type. Enough *coughs*.
Ah, to Hell with it, I like the guy. He's a great guy, and fun to be with, and he makes me laugh a lot, which is something nobody should judge me for. I just don't want to pin my hopes on anything, which is what I seem to manage to do all the time! It's just soo Tami to start thinking along one line and then to be totally shot down. Like a pigeon *makes shooting gestures*.
Anyway, I've got rehearsals tomorrow, big whoop. I wonder if I still remember all my lines and crap? Hahaha, I still haven't learned how to juggle, which is terrible of me. I shall officially enlist help- fact. Soon...
It'll be time for another picture post soon... Be warned! I'm off now... I got a splitting migraine earlier and I don't want a repeat performance of THAT! Check the dream journal for the effects of sleeping awake with a migraine. Big loves.
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| new layout... |
[Nov 6th, 2004] |
How proud am I right now? Hehehe, it's Carrie! I love this dress, this episode of Sex and the City, that show, and this layout! So everytime I open my journal I shall be gleaming with pride. I think we can stick with this layout for a little bit...
Anyway, so I went out shopping tonight. Shopping of course meaning having roughly 1000 dhs to spend and not parting with any of it because I'm too scared of it running through my fingers like water. Ugh, and topshop are having SUCH a good season. I swear the women in that shop think I'm insane. I tried on every single jacket, coat, and hat and sunglasses in there. It's all so beautiful! *sob*
Got a very bizarre phone call from Lopez... telling me that I had to redo every single essay I've done for him so far this year, and have it in by tomorrow. Yeah, thanks sir. I tried, but I know what he's going to say. "You could still say more, Tamira. You still haven't covered all the points." Wellll, kiss it. I love you Lopez, but in the exam I get an hour to write this shit. And I still get As, man.
Anyway, I have a really bad stomach ache, so I'm going to go and lie down. Peace out all.
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